Saturday, February 7, 2009

February 11, 2006

sorry i haven't written much, but life has not been interesting. i could have gone to a party last night, but chose not to go. even though my friends would be there i still felt like it wasn't my place to go. besides, i just wasn't in the mood and it kind of felt like being the designated driver was the main reason for my invitation to the aforementioned party. whatever.

lately i have really missed my old friends (you know who you are) and wish they were here. also, i'm in a weird place right now. the future scares me. it seems like there is no one out there for me (i always find something wrong with them). like i said, i miss my friends from home. i'm doubting myself.  even though i adamently deny it, i do feel lonely at times. i am no longer who i was in high school, but these thoughts act as flashbacks to those awful times.

i think i will get over this, but right now i don't think i am as happy as i tell myself (and others) i am. what i really need is for leya to smack some sense into me and tell me that my problems are not beyond my control and that i am making myself unhappy. this is so pathetic! i've discussed this issue before and never did a damn thing about it. anyways, things will get better and i hope to tell you all how life is grand sooner rather than later.

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