Things I overheard #5

"Jews are God's chosen people. Whether they believe in him or not, they will go to paradise." - some old guy talking to those unfortunate enough to choose the seats next to him.

Congratulations, Jews. Apparently, you're going to heaven just for being you.

I'll wave to you from hell. I'll be eating nought but burning hot coals and drinking nought but burning hot cola, but at least I won't be bored for all eternity. The great works of literature* agree: "Heaven blows" (I may be paraphrasing here, but it's the gist of the conclusion).

Someone should really tell the Christians, Catholics, and the rest that they won't be the only ones up there with the king of kings (or is that Jesus' title? Either way, the original followers clearly never read about Ozymandias before bestowing that title).

And this concludes your lesson in blasphemy.

Sacriliciously yours,

- R

* I am clearly excluding the bible from this list. It's not that much of a list anyway. Well, it's not really a list at all. It consists of Piers Anthony's "And Eternity" (not actually a great work [or even literature], but it's a damn good series that I've reread several times) and Dante's "Paradiso" (it's painstakingly boring). Although, to be honest, I don't consider the bible a great work of literature at all. If it's not required reading for an English major, then it doesn't count.