Things I overheard #10

This one is pretty nuts.

Directly in front of me is a pair going over a business contract.

It is a younger man (30s, I'd say) and an older man (50+). I can't make out if there is a family resemblance between them without being caught, but they definitely know each other. Oh wait, he just called him "Dad."

The son seems to know (or at least thinks he understands) the world of business and business laws, but the dad is not completely certain of it all. The son is totally frustrated with his dad's naivete and lack of knowledge. He clearly had asked his son for help in working out a contract between him and some partner/associate/what-have-you. Big mistake. The son has no patience.

"These legal terms are business 101! Why do you find them so hard to understand!?"

He just whipped out his laptop to bring up an online legal dictionary.

Though awkward because they are close enough for me to steal their drink, it is too funny. For two reasons, and I'll explain.

Reason #1-- The cocky/douchebag-y son totally reminds me of my cocky/douchebag-y uncle who also fancies himself an ace negotiator/businessman. His impatience with his father is like listening to my uncle talking business with my grandparents.

And, I admit, it reminds me of past arguments I've had with my mother ("Just listen, Mom. I don't know how else to explain it!").

Reason #2-- I've previously discussed how people don't seem to care what they share in public spaces. Funnier still is people who have no qualms whatsoever about making loud exclamations or shameless statements when people are right next to them. This pair is one example.

Another is a pair of girls that were standing in front of me on the escalator at work. "Why deny who I am? I'm a bitch. I like to get drunk. I like to fuck random guys. So why the fuck should I pretend otherwise? "

At this point the other girl turns around to face me and observe my reaction to her friend's statements. I just look ahead. The shameless friend then comments, "See. Like right now. I don't care that he just heard what I said. It's all true, so why be embarrassed by it?"

So you see, eavesdropping is not always necessary. Sometimes you get to listen to/observe juicy stuff without any work on your part. It can happen right in front of you.

Cheers,

- R

Tagged! 50 random questions

JB tagged me in her evil game of survey tag. http://blackthoughts-jb.blogspot.com/2009/05/tagged-50-random-questions.html (for some reason Blogger isn't linking properly, so am just posting the full link here).

I always sucked at tag.

So here are my answers to 50 random question.....

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Work

2. Who are you in love with?
Natalie Portman. She doesn't know it yet, but she is having my babies. Oh, and Shakira. She is also having my babies.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Nope, but I did try a bit of play-doh.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Nope.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Today. I work at a mall.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
No.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
Yes.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
Today.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Indeed I have. To see X-Men Origins: Wolverine with Ricardo.

10. Are you hot?
I'd say devastatingly good looking.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Tea.

12. What are you wearing right now?
Shorts, shirt, and a hoodie.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
The rain does it for me. If I'm not feeling lazy, then I take it to the car wash.

14. Last food that you ate?
A croissant.

15. Where were you last week at this time?
Work.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
A tie.

17. When is the last time you ran?
Hahaha.... me? Run?

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Bits and pieces of the last Lakers game.

19. What is your favorite animal?
Hippo.

20. Your dream vacation?
Paris, France with Mariana.

21. Last person's house you were in?
Mariana's.

22. Worst injury you've ever had?
Umm... I guess when I sprained my elbow. Or perhaps when I ran into a pole and broke my front tooth in half.

23. Have you been in love?
Nah.

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
Of course!

25. Last play you saw?
Disney's Beauty and the Beast.

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
My wit and charm. ;p

27. What are your plans for tonight?
Sleep.

28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?
No clue. Been quite a while.

29. Next trip you are going to take?
Who knows.... but I hope it's sooner rather than later.

30. Ever go to camp?
Nope.

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Oui.

32. What do you want to know about the future?
When I'll have my dream job.

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Versace Man.

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
Umm.. not that I know of.

35. Where is your best friend?
At her apartment.

36. How is your best friend?
She;'s my favorite of all people.

37. Do you have a tan?
Naturally tan, baby.

38. What are you listening to right now?
"The Way You Look Tonight."

39. Do you collect anything?
It used to be state quarters. But I finished that collection.

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
My family.

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
Never. Knock on wood.

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Of course! Always.

43. What does your last text message say?
"Love you too!"

44. Do you like hot sauce?
Nope.

45. Last time you took a shower?
This morning.

46. Do you need to do laundry?
In due time.

47. What is your heritage?
Mexicano.

48. Are you someone's best friend?
I'm thrilled to say that I am also my best friend's best friend.

49. Are you rich?
In my mind.

50. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Watching tv.


Tag. You're it!

* Ambika
* Brandon
* Ron

Tag rules for 50 Random Questions:

1. Name & link back to the person who tagged you

2. Answer & post the 50 random questions on your blog

3. Tag some bloggers to play along by naming them at the end of your post & by leaving them a comment on their blog letting them know that they have been selected to answer 50 Random Question

(I picked 3 people, but feel free to pick however many people you want)

Just keep it cool, boy

I mentioned in my last post that I went out for a drinks with a co-worker. In said post I also mentioned that he told me his philosophy for work, and that I would give it a shot.

The way he approaches this job and, indeed, any job he has ever held is to just relax. He is simply happy to have a job. He knows that there are so many harder jobs out there. With selling women's shoes, he knows that he has it easy. All we do is talk to women all day and bring out some light boxes. What could be easier than that? He doesn't obsess over his sales figures or let the job stress him out. He'll do his best to sell the woman a shoe, but he doesn't fret if it doesn't happen. He won't push or over promote a shoe because it sometimes turns off the customer. He just does his job in a relaxed and cheerful manner, singing random songs throughout the stock room.

Well, dear readers, it does work.

I've been approaching the job in the same manner for two days now. I have not been coming back comatose or in great pain. The amount of customers I have to deal with or amount of work has not lessened in the least, but it no longer stresses me out. In fact, I've felt like the past two days of work were great days. Before I would have been drenched in sweat and stressed to point of insomnia. But I've been good now. Although I have to occasionally remind myself to just be chill because my inner perfectionist wants me to be the best salesman.

This way of working is so simple. Why did I not try it before?

If you are not in your dream job or stress out like me, then I highly recommend you try this approach as soon as possible.

Cheers,

- R

After-work drinks

Tonight I did something I've never done before. And that makes me a bit sad.

I went out for drinks with a co-worker after work.

It was really spontaneous and random. He was trying to guess my age (he got it wrong) and found out we were the same age. "We should get a drink," he said. I said we should, but then continued working.

After finishing our shift, he asked if I still wanted to get a drink with him. I hadn't thought he was actually serious. "Sure," I said.

We went to the brewery right there in the shopping center and had a great time. He had beers and I had my usual (gin and tonics). At first, we were making small talk. But we ended up talking about some rather deep stuff. We discussed religion, personal philosophies, and the best way to look at life. And, of course, there was talk of work, women, and sex. Common subjects in male conversation.

The co-worker in question was the guy I mentioned in a previous post. The guy who sings and talks to shoes. I thought he was just a chill guy, but he is actually a very deep thinker with an amazing outlook on life. He gave me great advice on how to approach this job of ours. I took it to heart.

I really like the guy. I can see us doing this again and often.

The fact that I'm writing after getting home from work is proof that it had a good effect on me. It energized me. I need to learn to relax and not let my work take control of my life.

Cheers,

- R

Cute

"Those are so cute!"
"Cute!"
"They look really cute on you!"
"So cute!"
"These are really cute."
"Aren't these cute?"
"These would look so cute!"
"They're cute, right?"

Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute.

I've said "cute" more times in the past week than I have in my entire lifetime. I've said the word so many times it has lost all meaning.

"Gorgeous" is too strong a word and I can't bring myself to say "fabulous."

At times I leave my body and look at myself in disgust.....

"Look at yourself. Do you hear yourself speaking? You disgust me! If I weren't so attached to you, I'd throw you down the stairs. Oh my god, you said it again! That's it. I'm leaving."

One thing is for certain. I now hate shoes. I will never go shoe shopping with a woman again. I don't care how much they tell me they love me or what unspeakable sexual favors they will perform. I will not go.

Oh, and my co-workers were right. You do end up hating women. Sports channel and beer hat, here I come!

Cheers,

- R

p.s. it's been over a week since my last post! This job is taking away valuable blogging time. Do you think I could convince the powers that be that I need to go on "Blogging Leave"?

"Nine" - November 25, 2009

Words cannot express how wicked excited I am for this movie! I'm looking forward more to this than the remaining Harry Potter films. Big statement, I know.

This musical is, admittedly, flawed. The story is at times confusing and rather convoluted. But oh how exciting the score is. The music and featured performances (which, with the right performer, can be utterly amazing. Just look up Jane Krakowski singing "A Call to the Vatican" -- which will be sung by Penelope Cruz in the movie version -- on YouTube. You won't be sorry!) make this one of my favorite musicals.

With the exception of Kate Hudson (who has no business being in this movie, or any movie for that matter) and Fergie (whose rendition of "Be Italian" on the trailer I find very impressive), the cast is comprised of Oscar winners. Acting will be excellent, that is a given. Singing, I am praying will be good. Regardless, I am dying to see what Rob Marshall does with this musical. I can already see in the trailer that he used elements of the original Broadway production, the 2003 revival, and the source -- Felini's "8 1/2." Seeing as a lot of the musical occurs inside the main character's mind, Marshall should be in familiar waters as he gave Chicago a similar treatment.

Is it November yet???

Cheers,

- R

The muffin story

In a previous post, I alluded to my habit of talking to inanimate objects. I said I would relate a certain tale, if reminded. Alas, I was reminded (thanks, Bika) and must make good on my promise. And so another one of my embarrassments enters the public forum.

Back in college at UCLA I would commit the same mistake time and time again. The dining halls were the battleground. The dessert section my enemy. The battle began whenever I would get up to get a dessert. It's starting to sound like a battle against the bulge, isn't it?

I would peruse all the wonderful delicacies. What to get? What to get? Brownie? No. Rice Krispie treat? Gross. Ice cream? Hmmm.... maybe. And there it was. A tray of muffins. I normally don't like muffins, but these muffins appeared to be chocolate chip. You'll find that I'm all over anything with chocolate chips. I dislike pancakes, but put some chocolate chips in them and I'll gobble them up.

Now, you may have noticed I said "appeared to be." What I always discovered upon returning to my table with my bounty was that my chocolate chip muffin was actually a blueberry muffin. You would think I wouldn't make the same mistake so many times, but then I wouldn't be Roberto. I'm dense like that.

This one time, however, was a little different. I went up to the dessert section and reached for my "chocolate chip muffin." But I stopped. I was wise to the muffin's deception. I knew that it was a blueberry muffin in disguise. I was not fooled this time. But, me being me, I simply did not turn around and return to my friends. That would have been far too logical and normal for me. I confronted that deceitful pastry.

"Oh no you don't! You're not going to trick me this time, little muffin. I know you're actually filled with blueberries. Not chocolate chips. Better luck next time!"

I showed that muffin who was the boss. Unfortunately, as usually happens whenever I verbalize my thoughts, I forget that other people can hear what I'm saying. In this case, there was another student standing right next to me. I looked up to see him staring in disbelief. Had he really just witnessed a guy talking to a muffin? *sigh* He did.

What do you say in such a situation? Is there really a proper protocol for having been discovered in conversation with an inanimate object?

I grabbed my tray, put my head down, and scurried back to my table.

I'd like to say that I never did something stupid like that again. I'd like to say it, but then that would make me a liar.

Cheers,

- R